It is often said that the power of the pen is mighty...but yesterday, I discovered just how powerful a piece of paper can be! Yes, a common, ordinary, simple piece of paper - with or without words or pictures. Thankfully, my car can be quite the traveling clutter box of assorted toys, various pairs of shoes that my son refuses to keep on his feet - (along with hats and gloves he refuses to keep on his head or hands), and a large stash of various kinds of paper, newspapers, magazines, and junk mail that never quite seems to make its way into the house!
To make a long story short, we stopped at a store on the way home from his weekly therapy visit yesterday. Without taking time to think about it, I allowed him to take a couple of his beloved Hot Wheel cars in with him. Yes, you've probably guessed it already, he lost one of them. We searched high and low throughout the store, retracing all of our steps in search of it, several times - it was just no where to be found!
Suddenly, he began breathing hard - the first red flag that a meltdown is in the works at its beginning stages. We managed to work through it enough so that we could walk out of the store...it wasn't a perfect exit, but I was very proud of the way he held it together long enough to describe his missing Hot Wheels car to the sales clerk at the front desk. She promised him that she would call him if they found it.
He held it together fairly well - until we were in the vehicle driving home where he began coming unglued! I looked in the rear view mirror and saw that he was in real distress. His face was red, his eyes were filling up with real tears (he RARELY ever cries), his voice was getting louder and louder with each angry statement he made - and with each statement he made, being on the highway in heavy traffic began making me more and more nervous.
I remembered a strategy his psychologist had taught him (and us) that he could use when he felt overwhelmed by anger or frustration. She had helped him put together a list of things he could do to "get the mad out" when he started feeling overwhelmed. One of them was taking a piece of paper, wadding it up and then throwing it, (preferably in a trash can). I looked down and saw some newspapers and began handing him pieces of it, instructing him to wad them up, and then telling him where he could throw them...i.e., the back of the car, the side windows, the back of my seat and his seat, etc.
It was amazing! After awhile, I could see the tension leaving his body more and more with each wadding and throwing of the paper. Pretty soon I saw him starting to smile. Not too long after that, he was really smiling and saying, "This is kind of fun!" Finally, the tension started leaving my body! Driving down a busy four lane highway with an angry kid on the spectrum who is about to burst is a little unnerving...thank God for the papers I had been allowing to pile up on the seat next to me! Thank God the strategy Malachi's therapist taught him gave him an effective outlet for feelings that he was having difficulty managing at that moment.
By the time we got home, he had pretty much forgotten about his missing car. Not too long after that, we received a phone call from the lady at the store telling us they had found it. Whew, what a day! I'm not glad it happened, but I do value the opportunity he had to exercise self-control enough to tell the lady at the store about his missing car. Even though he started falling apart in the car, he made it out of the store safely. (I think the store building will get over being called stupid). While in the car, he had an opportunity to practice a strategy he had been taught to help him manage his frustration - and he discovered how powerfully it worked! So, overall, in spite of everything, there are many positives to pull from what happened.
The pen may be powerful, but I'm a believer with an eyewitness account that there is probably equal - if not more power in paper!
To make a long story short, we stopped at a store on the way home from his weekly therapy visit yesterday. Without taking time to think about it, I allowed him to take a couple of his beloved Hot Wheel cars in with him. Yes, you've probably guessed it already, he lost one of them. We searched high and low throughout the store, retracing all of our steps in search of it, several times - it was just no where to be found!
Suddenly, he began breathing hard - the first red flag that a meltdown is in the works at its beginning stages. We managed to work through it enough so that we could walk out of the store...it wasn't a perfect exit, but I was very proud of the way he held it together long enough to describe his missing Hot Wheels car to the sales clerk at the front desk. She promised him that she would call him if they found it.
He held it together fairly well - until we were in the vehicle driving home where he began coming unglued! I looked in the rear view mirror and saw that he was in real distress. His face was red, his eyes were filling up with real tears (he RARELY ever cries), his voice was getting louder and louder with each angry statement he made - and with each statement he made, being on the highway in heavy traffic began making me more and more nervous.
I remembered a strategy his psychologist had taught him (and us) that he could use when he felt overwhelmed by anger or frustration. She had helped him put together a list of things he could do to "get the mad out" when he started feeling overwhelmed. One of them was taking a piece of paper, wadding it up and then throwing it, (preferably in a trash can). I looked down and saw some newspapers and began handing him pieces of it, instructing him to wad them up, and then telling him where he could throw them...i.e., the back of the car, the side windows, the back of my seat and his seat, etc.
It was amazing! After awhile, I could see the tension leaving his body more and more with each wadding and throwing of the paper. Pretty soon I saw him starting to smile. Not too long after that, he was really smiling and saying, "This is kind of fun!" Finally, the tension started leaving my body! Driving down a busy four lane highway with an angry kid on the spectrum who is about to burst is a little unnerving...thank God for the papers I had been allowing to pile up on the seat next to me! Thank God the strategy Malachi's therapist taught him gave him an effective outlet for feelings that he was having difficulty managing at that moment.
By the time we got home, he had pretty much forgotten about his missing car. Not too long after that, we received a phone call from the lady at the store telling us they had found it. Whew, what a day! I'm not glad it happened, but I do value the opportunity he had to exercise self-control enough to tell the lady at the store about his missing car. Even though he started falling apart in the car, he made it out of the store safely. (I think the store building will get over being called stupid). While in the car, he had an opportunity to practice a strategy he had been taught to help him manage his frustration - and he discovered how powerfully it worked! So, overall, in spite of everything, there are many positives to pull from what happened.
The pen may be powerful, but I'm a believer with an eyewitness account that there is probably equal - if not more power in paper!
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